Is Wellness Making Me Feel Worse?
Why wellness trends may be doing more harm than good.
As we approach the first anniversary since the beginning of lockdown 1.0, I want to reflect on this past year. The sudden confinement to the desk in my bedroom meant that I was working harder than ever, perhaps as a distraction to the world outside. Boundaries blurred; I allowed my working hours to grow longer than was conducive for my wellbeing. When social media caught wind of this phenomenon, wellness tips and tricks began circulating to promote that elusive work-life balance. The rise of ‘morning routine’ videos on Youtube shone a spotlight on my dependence on working hard and so I began to fill my spare time with fitness, health challenges, wellness activities, and experimenting with different creative outlets (yes, I made clay earrings like every other 20-something).
What if the 8 am yoga that we’re told should be calming our mind in fact, makes us reluctant to get out of bed? (wasting £12 in the process)
My weekly yoga classes moved to Zoom and I replaced the gym with Lily Sabri and Krissy Cela workouts online. Sweaty selfies adorned social media and I felt part of a fantastic online community of people using this time for self-improvement. So why wasn’t I improving? After reading a post about the effects of cortisol on the body, I ditched HIIT workouts, opting instead for Weights and Pilates. I also began taking part in live meditations to combat stress. I have incorporated such promising pass times into my life during this past year, each time thinking ‘This is it! THIS will make me the best version of myself’ And yet I have ‘failed’ at doing the practice or activity more than a handful of times. I became more frustrated and less satisfied than ever, on the verge of burning out and giving up. But what is Burnout? Academics described burnout as:
‘ a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress’
Burnout has caused many to lack motivation, have trouble completing simple tasks and feeling anxious when doing activities that previously caused no such distress. Many have turned to Wellness when they see burnout coming as a means to stop the process and be calmly guided back to (somewhat) normality. But what if this exacerbates the problem? What if the 8 am yoga that we’re told should be calming our mind in fact, makes us reluctant to get out of bed? (wasting £12 in the process). What if the meditation we’re told will make us more present in fact, feels like a chore. It all boils down to the pressure that we put on ourselves to be the best we can possibly be, and if you’re anything like me, you’ll try any wellness fad or trend in the hope that it will either a). Make you more productive in your work or b). Make you a nicer person to be around.
Lockdown 2.0
I am someone who loves exploring how I can be more productive, more insightful, and more grounded as a person. But in the world we live in today, self-improvement can be a double-edged sword. When lockdown 2.0 hit, I seemed to go into overdrive, creating a Pinterest board on productivity, getting up even earlier in the mornings and I spent a silly amount of money on adaptogens. I tried reading one personal, one business, and one ‘current affairs’ style book at the same time because I read somewhere (read: someone on Instagram said) that rotating several books increases focus and encourages the brain to absorb more information. This didn’t work at all. Shocked? I didn’t think so. I began to feel like reading was just another thing I had to do to come across like a well-rounded individual, rather than what it was; a relaxing way to learn more about the world I live in.
Now before we go any further it should be said that there is a difference between the pillars of wellness and the wellness trends we see influencers advertising on social media. I talk about them interchangeably because I think that amid a pandemic, even the most well researched, widely regarded, and scientifically backed activities will not be beneficial to the health of the person doing them if the person is exhausted and stressed. For a breath of fresh air in the online fitness space, I recommend looking up @banhass.
This is exactly why the celery juice in the morning or the HIIT sessions don’t feel good anymore
Lockdown 3.0
Now we’re in lockdown 3.0, my daily routine has been curated more carefully than the Summer Exhibition, and yet again I feel dangerously close to Burnout. But how has this happened when all my daily life is centered on principles of healthy living? Simply put, I haven’t prioritized myself. I have been copying what others were doing, making tumultuous changes to my lifestyle during a pandemic, and then when they didn’t have the desired effect, I would incorporate something else.
This is exactly why the celery juice in the morning or the HIIT sessions don’t feel good anymore. Because they’re not being done for the right reasons. A sweaty workout should be a way to get out of your head and a yoga session should be a way to explore how your body moves, holds itself, and gets stronger as you progress. If you see them in this light, it becomes a journey with ups and downs, bends and twists, and lots of learning opportunities along the way. With this mindset, there is no failure. The perils of life in Lockdown has turned personal well-being into a competition and it’s about time we stopped. No more showing off a smoothie to followers on Instagram, or telling your boss about your fitness- packed weekend to seem like your life is ‘together’ (it’s okay if you didn’t go on a hike, zoom all your friends and have a homemade sushi night).
And now? I’m taking it back to basics — sleep schedule, check. 3 meals a day that include fruits and vegetables, check. Some form of movement or time spent outside, check. THEN I will look at my work priorities. Better utilizing time in between meetings is a current goal of mine. So that’s where I will focus my energy next. Once I feel like I have achieved this goal, my next priority is to develop my yoga practice by working on my headstands. My point is, once the basics have been covered, prioritize what is important to you and build your routine from there. Trying to achieve it all at once will likely result in burnout.
Does this sound obvious and simple? That’s because it is. If you feel like you’re balancing many plates, take this as a call to action to stop. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this is your sign to slow down. If you’re feeling productive but fearful of flying too close to the sun, this is for you too. Prioritizing the areas of your life you want to work on will help you stay away from wellness trends that won’t serve you and identify those that will get you to where you want to be. So to avoid burnout I will no longer grow my to-do list, but shorten it. I will look to meditation and other wellness practices to feel good, rather than follow what I see others do on social media. And I will NOT, under ANY circumstances, drink any more celery juice.
